At the start of my MFA program we were told to make a sculpture in the form and method in which we have been working. Although the intent was seemingly straight forward and meant to provide a way to ease into new work, it turned out to be surprisingly painful. In a short period of time, questions about my work and about myself were highlighted, leaving me feeling very vulnerable and testing my own validity as an artist.

Notes from my journal:
"After I put the Vernissage show together last June, I felt like I had some closure with the paper/screen work. Creating them again was more like following a recipe than pursuing a creative inspiriation - I felt like I was copying myself. This dissatisfaction was amplified by the questions asked of me during the first quarter - the issues are difficult enough when feeling confident of the work.

Because I felt that making this sculpture was much like following a kit, I decided to use the sculpture to show that. I dissected the work (which was very therapeutic) into parts, and provided instructions on how to make it by number; a sculpture-by-number that can be purchased in any discount store. The meaning can be expanded then to not only represent my own experience, but to comment on the absurdity of kits made for "learning" how to paint, and on the idea of making art objects reptitively, without thought, for the sole purpose of making money."

It was a rough start into my MFA program but one thing that I came away with and still love (as a person who also has a bachelor's degree in math) is how the numbers activate the piece. The brain starts churning to solve the numbers. Can the piece really be put together? What is the number pattern? Even today I don't use math much in my work but I still delight in numbers and graphs even if it is for image only - fake science.